How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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