I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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