just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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