WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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