Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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