your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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