It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
