I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
