I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
