In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
soo... how was my night?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
