whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
