you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
