But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
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Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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