i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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