3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
