four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
