Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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