So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
