her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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