I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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