I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
