I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
