Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
