okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
