either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
