Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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