Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize