i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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