I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
