I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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