I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm getting married
To pizza
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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