I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can't put those talents on a resume
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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