Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize