wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
