fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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