I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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