I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
