So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
