Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
