How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I skipped work to stalk him.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
