Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
