this beer tastes like vomit already
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
