How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
