There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
