I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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