ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
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Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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