You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
