I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He has the fingertips of a God
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize