No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
