You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
