I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
