Kiss
Puke
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
